Gender diversity vs Intellectual diversity

As posted on FB on Aug 8th 2017:

I usually dont post my views on FB, just tired of all the hate posts on the google memo, so wanted to send this across:

Is it only me who feels Mr Damore’s firing was totally unnecessary and uncalled for? I read the 10 page memo twice desperately trying to convince myself that it was indeed dangerous and sexist as labeled online. I dont necessarily agree with all of his views but I did not find anything offensive as a woman. There are so many male bashing articles floating around, people would read, roll their eyes and move on. Had it been the other way around and a woman had been fired for writing one of those articles, all the hyper feminists would have been marching down the road.

The line which struck me the most in memo is “Feminism has made great progress in freeing women from the female gender role, but men are still very much tied to the male gender role.” People don’t think twice before making a ‘sexist’ comment like: ‘Be a man, chin up’, ‘Boys don’t cry’, ‘Boys have delayed social skills (been told to my son without batting an eyelid)’. One of my friends told me once ‘I feel sorry for you not having a girl’. I was totally flabbergasted by just how easily someone could make such an insensitive comment. I wondered if I had said the same thing in opposite context, I would have been flagged as a chauvinist forever. The pinnacle of hypocrisy is that after reading the memo, some women google employees stayed home as they felt emotionally incapable of coming to office thus actually proving the memo’s point!

I felt being a woman, sharing my perspective may give a food for thought for all the hyper feminist ideas floating around..well maybe!

Aarav turns 4 today...

On Aarav's 4th birthday, compiled all the interesting conversations we had in last year.
Completely enjoying his toddler talk who uttered his first word only after he turned 2.
Although a late talker, there is no looking back once he kicked off!

Me: "Aaarv, I love you more than anyone else.."

Aarav: "Mumma, I love you more than all the animals in the zoo"

Me: "Aarav look at me, I am asking you a question"

Aarav: "Its not queshion its quesh-chen"

          Me: "Ok quesh-chun"

Aarav:"Its not quesh-chun its quesh-chen..." (and turns back to TV) 

 Me: "Aarav you again broke your pencil nib, write properly..do you want a timeout?"

 Aarav(putting his pencil down and patting my cheeks): "Its okayyy..You cannot be mad, sad or grumpy, it was an accident...its okay to break a pencil if its an accident"

Aarav: "Mumma I don't eat mirchi.."

Me: "Why Aarav? Mumma likes mirchi, papa likes mirchi, why you don't eat mirchi?"

Aarav: "Because I am a vegetarian, I don't eat chicken and mirchi"

 Aarav: "Mumma mujhe bhook lagi hai.." 

 I give him his favorite chocolate chip cookie saying its last and he comes back in a minute

 Aarav: "Mumma mujhe bahut chaali bhook lagi hai.."

I give him another cookie saying this is last and he comes back in another minute

Aarav: "Mumma mujhe na bahut hee chaali bhook lagi hai.."

I am speechless.. 

Me: "Aarav, stop playing with the food or I will give you a timeout.." 

Aarav (screaming at me): "Mumma, I will make a robot to stop you.."
 

Papa (during early days of potty training): "Aarav, push hard" 

Aarav: "Wait Papa, its downloading.." 

Aarav(Another instance during potty training) : "Wheel turn by wheel turn its coming out.." 

Aarav (talking sadly after he could not go to a roller coaster because of height limit and had just started talking in Hindi):  

"Mumma, mujhe bahut chaali veggie de do, main jaldi che bala ho jaunga.."

Me: "Aarav finish all the food you have on your plate "

Aarav: "Mumma, ek kaam karo(his favorite phrase these days); ask me how many bites you want to eat"

Me: "How many bites you want to eat?"

Aarav: "one"

He eats one bite and immediately jumps out of his booster chair 

PTLC

July 1^st, 2014

So it all started exactly a month back with an email informing that Aarav would be moving to preschool in a month. I and my hubby were so excited that our lil boy is promoted from daycare to preschool status!! The only hitch being the pre-requisite that the child should be fully potty trained L

Both of us were eager for his transition and didn’t want any stone left unturned to get his promotion done. After being in software industry for so long we have been mutated from normal human beings to SDLC followers.  So SDLC (Software Development Life cycle) got translated to PTLC (Potty Training Life Cycle).

The first phase in this Life cycle is Planning. We started our long hours of internet search on potty training. We skimmed everything we could on web and made our strategy.

We finalized on a 4 key point strategy- Bribe him, Make a big deal about it, Emotional blackmailing and Potty Alarm.

So the next phase was making the design which meant going for a shopping spree.

 I bought dozens of his favorite character underwears- Thomas chu chu train and Macqueen/Mater. The Disney brand underwears costed me a fortune, it hurt even more knowing that at daycare they just throw the underwear away in case of number 2 accidents. But never mind anything is worth seeing your lil one being a preschooler.

Next stop was to buy bribes for him. Didn’t want to spend a fortune on these as they had to be given very frequently. Stocked up on some sticker sheets for regular bribes (pee pee) and some a dollar each toys from party city for his big deed (poo poo).

As for potty watch, hubby set up an every hour alarm on his mobile to remind us that we have to make him sit on the potty hourly.

The biggest challenge for us was the carpet cleaning in case of any accident (side effects of living in US). Stocked up on disinfectant wipes and foam cleaner. Removed all the expensive rugs from the floor and my pretty cushions from the bed. Also got a high quality mattress cover to save our only mattress from India.

After setting up the stage, now came the time for the performance. Nervously stripped Aarav off his pull ups and showed a bright and shining Mac queen smiling at him. Aarav fondly looked at him and I knew it was my chance to get wicked and emotionally blackmail him. I said, “See Aarav Macqueen is so happy, if you wet him, he will get an ouchee and will be sad. No making Macqueen/Thomas yucky” (This was to be our mantra for the next month, repeated every time I left him at daycare and at home).

The first 2 weekends were both tiresome and frustrating, making him sit every hour as soon as the alarm rang off. His accidents when he didn’t want to leave the TV and peed happily while watching Thomas chuff away. Or when he didn’t know how to apply pressure while sitting on potty, he could only do it standing and I had lot of yucky underwears to wash after accidents.

But we still kept to our promise and awarded him every time he did the task successfully. To make an even bigger deal about it, every time he relieved himself while carefully balancing him on the seat, I and hubby did our cheerleader dance and sang the song we composed then and there, waving our both the hands to and fro, we went-“yayyyyyy pee pee on the potty, pee pee on the potty, Aarav is a big boy, he peed on the potty…yayyyy”  Must say even Sea Hawks cheer leaders could not have brought that smile on our lil prince, he felt so proud doing the big boy thing!

Gradually Aarav started telling us when he needed to pee, but the number 2 was still a problem L

He just didn’t know how to do it. As soon as we saw him hiding himself and getting it out, we used to practically throw him on the potty to get the rest of the business done on potty. Slowly he started seeing the fun in filling up the bowl and flushing it swirl all away.

It’s been a week and there have not been a single accident!

He is very regular and has his bowel movements right in the morning after waking up. Its Aarav’s Dad’s duty to sit with him for about half an hour in the morning and keep coaxing him for more. Aarav asks his papa to wait patiently as he explains-wait Papa, it’s downloading. J

There was another selfish motive in potty training Aarav. We would save on 500 bucks every month as his daycare charges less for a potty trained child. It was the last week of June and I told his teacher that he is ready and has been using potty every single time. She replied understandingly that if there are no accidents this week, she would inform the office and we could pay the reduced fee July onwards. Both of us had our fingers crossed, one poop=500 dollars (30,000 in Indian rupees). We nervously waited all week and religiously spent the potty time with him in the morning.

Squeezing this extra half an hour in our morning schedule hasn’t been very easy. I have missed all my team status meetings this month, but somehow there are no regrets. Surprisingly it’s more gratifying to see our toddler achieve his big milestone than giving status to my boss…

And what more, I proudly cut the cheque for just $1230 in the morning! J J

PS: I know PTLC is not complete yet, there will come a phase of regression and have to do monitoring and maintenance for a long time. Life Cycle goes on!!

Some of Aarav's underwear-

 

 

Reality hits!

I am posting this blog after a long time. This month was pretty hectic as we moved to our house in Hyderabad after prolonged 1 month stay at guest house where I had the most idle, lazy and relaxed time of my life. That month was like a second honeymoon(at least for me, hubby dear had to go to office everyday so he isn’t willing to term it as a honeymoon period..!) As for me there was no cooking, no laundry, no housecleaning..just relaxed and watched my favorite shows on the tv whole day..then every evening we went out for house hunting or sightseeing or hunting a new place for dinner. Enjoyed awesome food in various restaurants. I have already mentioned in my first blog about the cuisines Hyderabad has to offer.

The house we chose after 2 weeks of hunting and visiting at least 30 odd apartments n row houses, was completely to our liking..it is a beautiful gated community with around 500 apartments, has all the amenities such as clubhouse, well furnished gym, yoga centre, huge badminton court, basket ball court, cricket field, multiple children’s parks with beautiful swings, spic n span swimming pool with instructor, ganesha temple, super market n landscaped garden.

Even though the house has everything we wished for, the reality hit bigtime after moving there on 1^st sept.

There were so many immediate tasks to be done- getting house cleaned, arranging our stuff, making arrangements for milk, veggies, drinking water, cable, internet etc.

                                                                                      

After four weeks of super struggle, things have finally started settling down and I m able to focus on my job hunting, linking with frens n of course blogging..!

Hyderabad Rocks!

“Hyderabad..! why Hyderabad of all the places?!?!” was my first reaction to hubby’s plan of moving..! As impulsive as always, I had resisted leaving pune from the first place without giving much thought to how that city could be.

But pleasantly right from landing on Hyderabad airport to our stay it has turned out to be a charming city.
First thing which me n hubby went gaga about was the food. Since for initial month we had not moved to our house, we had no option but to eat out. But trust me, I am not complaining, the world famous Hyderabad biryani has rightfully earned its acclaim, served with mirch ka salan and raitha, its multiple layers of rice cooked with exotic spices gives it a delicious flavor and aroma. Then there are mouthwatering south Indian delicacies idli-wada sambhar, coconut rice, lemonrice, pepper rasam, yummy spicy Andhra pickles..and the list goes on. Surprisingly even north Indian food didn’t disappoint us..we had many sumptuous meals of paneer gravies with kulcha, stuffed tandoor parathe, dal makhani and lassi.
There is this elegant Chinese restaurant where you get one of the best crispy noodles and cashew gravy with garlic sauce.

Next thing which pleasantly surprised us was the variety of dedicated joints for coffee, ice-cream, chocolates and cakes here. As compared to pune where u can think of only CCD and Barista for coffee u have multiple chains of Mocha, Café odyssey, Beyond coffee, Café latte, etc which u will find in every nook and corner of the city. Same goes for Ice-cream lovers, they will find Creamstone, Cream lounge, Cream & fudge factory where u can customize your ice-cream with a variety of cookies, brownies, nuts, gems, chocolates, jelly, choco chips, and exotic fruits. Being a hardcore chocolate fan, I was pleasantly surprised to see a chocolate joint ‘Chocolate room’ which looked so tempting only from outside, waiting for a chance to explore that.

Another interesting thing about this city is that when u hear ‘Hyderabad Rocks’ little would u imagine that it is literally true. The natural terrain of this region is responsible for ancient rock formations which u may find in suburban areas. The huge historical rocks are somewhat intimidating and kind of take u back to a different era.

The old city charm of this city is well coupled with the Hitech city after seeing which I couldn’t help but wonder how better it is planned as compared with Electronic city of Bangalore and Hinjewadi Infotech Park of Pune. The well managed hitec city with number of entrances to avoid polarization of traffic, lush green surroundings, Inorbit mall with HyperCity at ground floor(which gives wide range of options from exclusive imported food items to hitech appliances. Household shopping is a bliss there)!

Its been just 3 weeks in Hyderabad and I am yet to see meena bazaar, char minar, golconda, Ramoji film city, Salar Jung Museum (which has rarest collection of antiques from all over the world), and many more places the city has to offer but already feel enchanted with its charm, cant help remembering the lines of this song heard near hussein sagar at a laser show: hyderabadu, luv u luv u..!